Autoholics Anonymous

Welcome to Autoholics anonymous. Thank you for coming. It is good you are here.

Finally, after all this time, you have taken the first step towards being classic car free. To come here is to admit you have a problem. Don’t worry you are amongst people who care and understand you. People that have conquered and overcome this affliction and now live happy normal lives. Believe it! People do overcome autoholism! You can be one of those people. Just by doing our 12 step program, we can help you achieve your aim of seeing cars only as daily transport!

We know you’ve been obsessing about that cute little European coupe, fantasizing about the ride of that long wheel based V8 while still wanting turn-in without excessive over steer

  We know how bad it’s been for you! We know how obsessed you’ve been, how it’s ruined relationships, destroyed families and taken it’s toll on work, friends and acquaintances.

So many people who have passed through our program have asked “Why can’t I just have a normal hobby?” Well now you can, by doing our program soon you won’t even care if the 1964 and half year model mustang is a better bet than the ‘66 year model or if the Alfa selespeed gearbox will give you as much driving satisfaction as a manual. Or that the wingnuts on a 1972 jag rearview mirror are the same as ford ones. Imagine to be free (once and for all) of these problems. Imagine how simple your life would be  if you didn’t have have 3 classic cars, or that that rust did actually sleep or that Ferrari was only the name of some Italian shyster sleeping with your wife?

So lets get started!

 You now officially on the bottom dweller 12 step program to a successful classic  car free life.

No1. 1965 Humber Supersnipe

At $4k it’s a bit out of bottom dweller territory, but it goes which is the main thing, (these cars are notorious at seizing up when stored) These elegant saloons are weathering well, still without much interest. These days there’s nothing like them and they look expensive.  A lot better on gas than a yank, surprisingly fast, with a beautiful hemi six (courtesy of Armstrong-siddley) under the bonnet. Like many Rootes products a lot better than the sum of its parts, and much more long lasting  than it’s smaller brethren. Not far off a Jag in terms of performance . Which only goes to show Rootes should have developed it further. By 1968 it was all over and Volvo swooped in and not only dominated this market but developed as well.

For: Elegant, refined, more like a 1960s Armstrong Siddley than a humble Humber. They had the wrong badge!

Against; if you join the club you will be the only one so you will have to talk to Imp owners of whom you have nothing in common..

Bottom dweller status: 2/5 A  bit expensive? But a better car than than it’s BMC equivalents.

No2  Austin Princess

In the sixties the public probably weren’t ready for the lack of grill on the Super Snipe. BMC  though, perceived the threat and hyped things up with one of the best traditional grills of the period, adding the Van der plas name to give bespoke presidence! ( Incidently the Humbers where also coach built by Thurpe and Mayberly through Rootes didn’t make a song and dance of it – fools they where!)   and even later gave them a cheap Rolls Royce engine. http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=754447820

For: Happiest of the Westminster, Wolseley 6/110 Farina designs. Interiors wonderful, Pretty spesch!

Against: Looks a bit podgy next to the elegant Humber and it’s no Lancia Flaminia in the performance stakes despite the looks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lancia_Flaminia_Berlina_blue_vl_TCE.jpg

Bottom dweller staus:4/5 pretty good at this price.

No 3.  Fiat 128 Coupe

Fiat replaced the 128 Coupe (see two weeks ago) with this updated modified version (for a short time in New Zealand) To be honest I’ve never seen one on the road here yet the earlier ones weren’t uncommon. Still has than mini exotica feel to it and as such is quite glamorous.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=754690834

For: A Fiat coupe at a cheap price.

Against: Was it a coupe or … a hatch?  for too much money? - hard to tell!

Bottom dweller status: 1/5  Lancia Deltas are cheaper and better.

No 4. Toyota Crown Coupe

New Zealand was lucky enough to get a small amount of large Toyotas in the 1970s (to fill the gap left by the Humbers, Wolseleys and Austins)  the stylish saloons where nice but surely the pick of the bunch where these very groovy coupes. (Why didn’t the british do these? Another  lost opportunity there) Still Toyota Crown did later to become the Lexus (now there’s a clue), still are in Japan. Half Mustang,  half Wally-Cressida;  an unhappy mix when new but now pure style for the 21^st century boulevader!

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=755799046

For: Legendary Toyota Reliability (even now) Drive it to work. No one else will have one, and they do look good in a slightly ugly stylish way.

Against: It needs a paint,  It’s yellow, the bonnet is stuck in the air.

Bottom dweller status: 3/5  Some boy racer interest, moving out of contention?

No5  Volvo 360 GLT

In the 1970s Volvo needed a small car to leverage it s brand into the profitable sub 2-litre market. So it brought Dutch car maker  DAF and made this cute little hatch. Which did us a favour by making  DAFs available in NZ. Not much like it at the time. A  high quality small saloon to replace the ailing British Triumph 1500s et.al. before being killed by the 80s infusion of the 3 series.  But Volvo quality and safety at a cheap price. Or so it seemed. Now these sedate and stylish cars prowl the bottom dweller markets of the world refusing to die.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=755819705

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=730513134

For: Better than an Escort, nicer than a triumph,  Well built with quality 70s interior. Good road manners and different.

Against: Slightly ponderous styling, not sexy.

Bottom Dweller Status: 4.5/5  Tasty little number on which a bottom dweller can feed on.

No6 1966 Ford Mustang

I don’t know if I should be reviewing cars costing $9.5 K but it’s great to see the start of the adjustment of American car prices in New Zealand and these 6cylinder coupes are certainly stylish bottom dwellers of the Mustang world. Got to remember: most sold where 6 packs. Instead of the lumpy V8 you get a well balanced smooth as silk 6 cylinder. The best thing is they handle better because the car is not over-powered  like its more expensive siblings. These cars where built for these motors, it’s a perfect combination. America as it should be! not hyped up perverted and oversold.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/motors/used-cars/ford/auction-744606005.htm

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=746457075

For: The sixties, notchbacks rule, convertibles and fastbacks only half as good. Everyone drives the V8s slowly anyway so why bother?

Against: http://www.ebay.com/itm/171386916097?_trksid=p2041550.m738&forcerRptr=true&item=171386916097&viewitem=#ht_175wt_1155 Plus $2k to bring it over.  Are we stupid?

Well you  only got to step Number 6. Really you can’t be helped, You’re terminal, a lost cause, Give up now. We sound kind and caring but really we don’t give a shit.

But please fill out our evaluation form so we can improve our service to you. Cross out what doesn’t apply. Thanks!

 This course was very helpful, I’m completely cured and am going to buy a Corolla.

I bid on the Austin  I needed it to make my life more complete.

You are a fag!  You choose weird cars. Real Mustangs have V8s! End of story!

Happy as a pig in Mud!

Now I need nine grand! Or help depending on how you see things. Time for another session at my local automotive anonymous group. You may laugh. Well it’s like this: The Riley would be the project (even through I don’t believe in restoration)I’ve always wanted one. Look that grill, look at that front (its going to be cerulean blue with a white top) The lancia would be for everyday, its perfect, gorgeous every time you step into, lovely Giugiaro lines, can’t help looking at when parked. For a midweek treat I would take the Fiat. For the joy of every corner, I’m driving a Dino man! (without the hassles) and of course the weekend would be the Sunbeam-Talbot – Svelt glory, presence on the road, stunning lines. Life is so good. What a great week on trade me. Looks like it’s never been a better time to buy a classic. Bottom dwellers rule.

It never rains, it pours!

After a long drought, it just seems to be getting better and better for lovers of bottom dwellers on Trade me. I just could’t resist adding these delectable beauties available this week.

Sunbeam Talbot 90

The Subaru WRX of the 1950s this silk purse from a sows ear was one the great rally cars of the immediate post-war era. Far more than the sum of its parts (Humber Engine and Minx underpinnings) these Sunbeams  behaved like  thoroughbreds. With a big engine in a small responsive chassis these cars were the drift cars of their day. Monte Carlo winners in 1955 and 2^nd in ‘52, Sunbeam (both well passed its use by date) were unlucky not to win it all the time in this era. Amazing robustness and stamina the motor was all torque, nicely clothed in one of the best bodies of the era courtesy of Raymond Lowey.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/motors/used-cars/other/auction-750798812.htm

For; Gorgeous looks, Rallying  pedigree, Gorgeous to drive.

Against : Nothing except some Imp owners will think they’re in the same league as you. (they’re not!)

Bottom Dweller Status: 2/5  Though underappreciated , unfortunately rapidly rising out of our league. (there I’ve got through another post without insulting Imp owners)

Lancia Prisma

Talking of rally winners. With baby ‘Gamma like’ styling,  the booted version of the Delta is pure delight. Smaller than a 3 series (its only real competitor in the small quality saloon market of the time) these boxy Lancias are subtly exquisite in shape and taste. Like the Sunbeam, built from a bunch of standard parts and sharing a platform with the Fiat Strada and Lada Samara, these  Lancia ‘s are never the less dripping in character. The twin cam motor is a ready performer, Economy is 21^st century standard. Small,  tight and fun to drive. Luxurious to boot.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=748298052

For: Toyota-like reliability, Italian Brio , cheap parts

Against: They don’t make anything like it now.

Bottom dweller Status: 5/5 as long as they don’t all rust away.

Fiat 128 coupe

Not quite as pretty as an 850 coupe, these 128 coupes have more than a hint of the Dino about them. Really a far better prospect than an 850 as the dynamics are a generation ahead of it’s rear engine cousins’. Front wheel drive; the concept wouldn’t go astray in today’s market. So well ahead of it’s time.  In fact there was really nothing like it for the time. (or since, Alfa Sprints where some way away yet) these coupes gave Grand Turismo Brio at a cut down price. Like all Fiat coupes of the time; lovely to drive and far better than Escorts and Marinas. This lovely Blue example seems very well cared for and a bargain at $3k. He wont and shouldn’t go below that.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=748311017

For: Lets face it ; You will never have a Dino, you can afford this.

Against: Only now, when they are all gone are they appreciated.

Bottom dweller Status: 4/5 Just out of our league, You probably wont find another, certainly not on this condition at this price.

The best car of the 70's?

Fiat 128

Citroën GS

Fiat 127

Audi 80

Mercedes 450S

Citroën CX

Simca 1307-1308

Rover 3500

Porsche 928

Simca-Chrysler Horizon

This is a list of the 1970s European Cars of the Year. No mention of the real winner of the best car of that decade. Hindsight is a fine thing. Realisation is even better, but really  the best car of the 1970s was the Mk 4 Cortina,

 Talking of Ghia (which Ford had brought by then) and so labelled their top model (and for years to come) I believe styled the Mark 4.  To  my eyes it’s the happiest and best looking of all the Cortina models. The Mk4 has a better roof line than the flattop Mk 5. (more Ghiaish?)

The Mark 3 was the big development and left everything in its wake. I’m sure  Harley Copp looked at the Rover and Triumph 2000s and thought ‘nice cars’... We could do this cheaper and better. Suddenly with the advent of an American engine (from the Pinto) it was all on.

 Quite simply in the 70s the Cortina / Taurus was way ahead of the pack. It performed better, it rode and handled better than any of its competitors. It brought European handling to the masses. Everything suddenly looked old fashioned. It held the Japanese at bay from complete domination of the New Zealand market. It was the best seller and nothing could get close.

After the Mk5 Ford moved on we got the Telstar (Really a Mazda 626) and the Seirra Wagon.(Really a Mk 5 in a jelly mould shape. Things have never been the same since for Ford. The Toyota Corolla took over as best selling car.

In the collectors market 70s Cortina’s are non event. Escorts get collected, (But  I’m not a great fan , having driven too many 1.1 litre autos  a common variant in NZ)

Time hasn’t been kind to the 70s Cortinas, but really they are a great car, They still feel good today, They feel substantial, modern but classic. They outperform all their contemporaries  in nearly every way and their handling and poise wasn’t beaten by the Japanese till the 90s. They deserve better.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/motors/used-cars/ford/auction-748899665.htm

The most beautiful car ever?

What has he gone mad? How can a close to $30,000 car be a bottom dweller? Doesn’t this just ruin the whole authenticity of this website?

Well… Probably… But the point I want to make is Karmann Ghias are bottom dwellers. No really.

The aesthete once described them at Volkswagen for Porsche Money (Check out his wonderful website here: http://petrolheadaesthete.blogspot.co.nz/) but I disagree. The karmann Ghia is one of the most beautiful cars in the world. As such, even at the typically excessive prices for the best:   http://www.trademe.co.nz/motors/used-cars/volkswagen/auction-736580928.htm they are still cheap in the world of bespoke car design. Lets face whats prettier? A 365 porsche is as pretty, a early 911 comes close, then what a Ferrari GTO? An E-type a D-Type? More fluent overall but not as nice in the detailing. A karmann Ghia  simply has perfect curves. I was studying a friends the other day, (and not a $30k one) and from every angle they look good. The lines of these cars still look fresh after all these years. They are timeless they are stylish. Driving round Auckland or any other major city in the world a Karmann Ghia holds it’s own on any Boulevard. No matter how much money you have You cant buy a better looking car, One as good looking  yes,  but not one better looking. Are you with my drift. Just study the lines next time you see one. They are beguiling, they drag you in like a stylistic black hole, they are probably the most addictive shape on 4 wheels and lets face it all for a lot less than anything else as remotely as beautiful.

Actually Ghias in New Zealand start around the $5 mark almost standard classic prices Check out this one on trade me a few months ago . http://www.trademe.co.nz/motors/used-cars/volkswagen/auction-736580928.htm and you can import a left hooker from the US for not much more. (where most of them went) Of course their dynamics of driving  can easily be beaten by just about any sports or drivers car. Still they have their own charms and really they are delightful to drive in their own way. And  very livable for a classic… with a nice feel, great torque and half decent handling, thanks to a low centre of gravity. Still, it’s when you get out, you remember what all the fuss is about. It is truly beautiful. There’s  something about driving a truly beautiful car. I am glad they are beautiful, I’m glad they are around on our roads, There are still enough slightly scruffy ones that adorn our streets to remind us that beauty is not the sole property of the elite.

Just when you think the classic car market has gone west

 There turns up on trade me a whole range of cheap desirable classics. its just like the old days!

The Wolseley Twins

Ok I admit I’m a sucker for lashings of veneered burred walnut dash boards, black dials with chrome rims. And upright chrome grills. You’ll definitely tempt me with the Baubles of power. Well Baubles any way. I also think the Morris Minor chassis was very good. (Rack and Pinion in the 50s what more can I say). Still the last thing I ever want to be seen is a Morris Minor. But the Wolseley  twins,  that’s my sort of style. For once the Brits weren’t afraid to put a large (ish) engine in a small chassis which transformed these cars into  everything a good British car should be.  I would dearly love the Riley with  it’s 3 lovely gauges but the Wolseley isn’t at all bad  and has it’s own brilliant charms Fantastic to see these at bottom dweller pirces

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=750069895

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=750064674

For: Patina! Brilliant interiors, lovely grills, Compact shape, Great chassis, Perfect small British sports saloon.

Against: You  have to buy a pipe, string back gloves and a tweed cap.

Bottom dweller Status; 5/5 The golden age!

DKW Junior

DKWs where quite popular once in New Zealand, I suppose they (as Audis) still are. When I was young there where lots of the Beetle shaped variety around. These Anglia shaped ones were rare. Everyone liked the beetle shaped ones. But time has been kind to these. Slightly out of bottom dweller territory at $2,500, this is never the less charming little car, Never short of go, from it’s two stroke engine (belies the diminutive engine size), the front wheel drive handling was a real eye opener for those used to badly performing rear wheel drive understeer common on every other car of the time. German quality and austereness, But shape points to happier times to come. Soon to be squashed  as everything German styling became dour.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=750135908

For: Wonderful! Excellent design, German quality, Style

Against: An oil burner from new, but not a diesel, don’t ask about CO2 emissons.

Bottom dweller Status; 4.5/5  Surely won’t be around for long at this price.

MG Magnette

Arguably one of the finest  British Sporting saloons ever, Superb chassis and gorgeous Gerald Palmer styling, A  mini Jag in every way, but won’t cost an arm and a leg to maintain or get going. (Patch it up don’t restore it) The right badge and suitably different to Wolseley model the Magnette was hard to fault. Lots of wood, strange shaped dials. Why they didn’t adapt this fine handling chassis as standard BMC midsize saloon I don’t know. (but then the Brits had it all they just lost the plot didn’t they) Engine went on being made for another 30 years. And the shape could have lasted a lot longer than it did.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=746022138

For:  One one Britains really good cars. If 1970s Jap cars had handled this well a lot more people would be alive today!

Against: They stopped making it.

Bottom dweller Status; 3.5/5  A rare fish in this price territory

Borgward  Goliath Hansa Kombi

Back in the 50’s BMW struggled to approach Carl Borgward’s exquisite quality and car design. But once they’d delt to him they stole his idea and made their name producing quality small saloons like the 3 series. Well Borgward did it back in the fifties. Fine German engineering and metallurgy perfect for post WW2 war vets who had faced Messermitts and realised how reliable they where. Still they sold here in very limited numbers.

  All German station wagons are collectable and these 3 door estates had a nice integrated look quit e uncommon at the time. With a bit of a clean up would be a stylish little number.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=748836743

For:  Few did things better in the 50s, Quality and engineering way ahead of massed produced Brits of the time. A far better car than a Morris Minor Woodie.

Against: Glad they didn’t make Panzers

Bottom dweller Status; 5/5  No one has the sense to grab it.

Renault Fuego

Descended from the the 15TS and 17TL coupes there was nothing around like them at the time. Front wheel drive stops the  Boy racer element despite the turbo. Still a bargain for the bottom dweller fan. Great high speed performance with excellent stability over the ton. Great handling, surprisingly good on dirt roads. These gorgeous French coupes have a style of their own – that never caught on!  Originally seen as a wanna-bes Porsche now the Porsche is a wanna-bes Fuego!

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=747870012

For: Like watching a good Eric Rohmer movie, full of subtly, and conversation

Against: Very 80s and Subtitled, the 15TS even better! If it was Italian it would be way more.

Bottom Dweller status: 4/5 Becoming increasingly hard to find

The two best classic buys and I go too far.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=744982279

http://www.trademe.co.nz/motors/used-cars/rover/auction-743059275.htm

I have nothing against English people per sae, some of my best friends are English, but...there seems to be alarming amount of  Brit nationals managing (or rather mismanaging) our major corporations. It seems not a day goes by without one of these characters  trying to give a positive spin on their disastrous management polices on National Radio's Morning Report. Why I think with all my highly competent NZ friends largely under utilised (if not unemployed) do these idiots have these jobs? When that happens I think of Reginald Perrin. Not that I hold his bumbling bureaucratic nonsense as any way to proceed, but rather I think about how whenever his mother-in-law was mentioned he thought of a hippopotamus. Well when I hear these prisoners of misguided thinking talk, I think of well...the Austin Allegro.
   I know this is weird. But this is British management for you. You know the empire and all that, they won the war with the Spitfire (and later used the British engine in the P51 Mustang) the bouncing bomb, the first computer, Concorde etc. then the Allegro. How did they f%@k it up? I think it should be compulsory for all of these corporate highflyers originating from mother England to have a an Austin Allegro on the front of their CVs! To remind us how bad British Management all got..
   However (and before I get accused of hate speech) back when things were good they produced these two fabulous marvels of automotive engineering. And they are marvels, they are British and they rate! The fact they are both bottom dwellers on the NZ classic scene is completely beyond me.
  Lets start with the Triumph, this came from nowhere, how Triumph suddenly started making this superb saloon from a bunch of old Vanguard parts I don’t know, but they did. These cars have timeless quality, they still look good, seem incredibly hardwearing, don't seem to rust and have lovely dynamics. This was recently brought home to me when I got out of a late Model Mazda6 (itself not a shabby piece of automotive engineering) and drove one. Next to the Mazda it felt... possibly... tens years old. certainly not fifty! And it handled. Get behind the wheel of one of these Triumphs and suddenly your brio is up! You want to take the next corner far too fast and it loves it! Nothing unsettles it, and it's pin point steering gives you that gorgeous precise feeling on the road. With its independent chassis all round it just flows  and rides and corners, its beautiful, with it's silky smooth six it puts to shame so many cars on the road. It feels so safe. (give it some airbags , I'm sure it would fly through the Ancap rating) It would outperform the 3 previous posts cars in every way yet these cars remain stubbornly cheap.
   Talking of lovely dynamics the Rover if anything is even better! With its stylish good looks (I'm bias here I think the Rover is one of the best looking four door saloons ever) the P6 doesn't feel quite as modern as the Triumph, but it does feel...Everything has tactile edge of quality about it. (An Aston martin or Rolls could hardly be more) There is is no skimping here. Nothing is tacky. Everything is built to last (except the Lucas electrics) and they do last, Just look at the lovely 3500 lingering on trade me at 2.5K! Non-restored, still could be a daily driver. You could run it easy, despite the gas and maintenance bills for less than your modern is depreciating. And they are fast! the 3500 runs out of steam at 125 mph, but its accelerated all the way there. My personal fave, the 2000TC is good for 115mph! (In my youth I spent my time dragging off RX3s, I couldn’t get them at the lights but on the highway I slaughtered them; in the speed zone just where their steering was getting wobbly and the rotary sounding coarse the Rover just roared on by) Why are they so cheap? If they had more exotic nameplates (Alfa, Citroen or BMW perhaps) they might be more collectable. But they don’t and they're not, they're over here and they're cheap.
  They're cheap because they were made here (we even exported them to Australia), because they last forever, because there were lots of them.
  Its a funny thing, How did the British loose their car industry when they made such good cars as these. They should still be making them, Updated of course, the way BMW and Mercedes developed their sixties models they still make. The Japanese did alot better with a lot worse. Imagine what they’d done if they’d taken over one of these cars. Instead British management stuffed it up and gave us...the Austin Allegro. You wander how they ever won the Battle of Britain? Oh that’s right there was a New Zealander in charge!