This usually refers to German U-boats hunting British shipping in WW2 during 1940-41, When Britain was nearly reduced to its knees for the second time in WW2 (the battle of Britain being the first) But I digress. But then I’m sure it’s not lost on you. For the Bottom dweller this is the happy time! The ‘kills’ keep on coming. Not that I’m about to become a neo Nazi but I do like the odd… well make that ‘odd’ German cars.
Let the happy time begin…
And the winner is…
Renault 16 TS
Just look at this glorious car, when did you last see one of these? Superb quality, beautifully engineered these upmarket hatches where a breed apart. Almost Citroen DS like ride and panache for a fraction of the cost. No stunningly beautiful but charming Gaelic style all the same. Beautiful handling and peppy motor will put to shame many classic GT cars. My advice buy it!
For: performance, quality, looks, ride, style, practicality. More cred than at least 5 french films at the film festival
Against: Ownership will make you feel very very smug. Alfa owners will hate you with good reason! You will never want a Mustang or a Porsche again.
Bottom dweller Status: 3/5 A trifle out of B-D range but this is your big chance. Don’t stuff it up!
1963 Standard Vanguard Six
Normally the lepers of the Classic car world Vanguards attract nearly no interest at all, but look at this Tucker Madawick / Vignalle wonder in full Raymond Loewy influence. Whilst no the most beautiful car on the planet it certainly has its charms in this lovely two tone colour scheme. Disc brakes and Triumph six cylinder make up for boring fascia. But lots of lovely dials to look at! Really a very nice car and much better than anything BMC was producing at the time.
For: Smooth, well handling (for time) perfectly useable classic that wont break the bank
Against: Not much but wrong badge, No walnut facia, Take advantage now!
Bottom dweller Status: 4/5 Cheaper than a Sunbeam Rapier or Studebaker. Absolute bargain.
1987 Toyota Corolla
Again when did you last see one of these? Why you may ask, but these are the quintessential high point of Japanese 1980s car technology. Plus all the domestic models (the ones MADE IN NZ) have a Chris Amon tuned suspension! So they handle beautifully. These are the NZ equivalent of the Alfasuds without the rust. Amon used to host a car show on TV and slag Toyota handling off every week so they (Toyota) asked him to tune them and these superb handling cars where the result. Light on fuel , lovely and pleasant to drive (with that reassurance of high quality Japanese plastic of the time) these Corollas are far more sportier than the models that followed. Toyota has survived on the reputation of this car ever since while Corollas got fatter and uglier and sloppier with every passing year. People that have never driven a Mazda3 still buy them – God knows why?
For: Sporty, light, fun loving car, Fits like a glove, what’s no to like? Amon heritage. You will be invisible to Boy racers and classic car owners alike.
Against: It has a Wham tape stuck in the stereo. You’ll be waiting forever for the auto to break so you can fit a manual.
Bottom dweller Status: 5/5 Lot of fun for the buck. Preserve the NZ heritage!
1953 Armstrong Siddley Sapphire
Hand built, Rolls Royce like quality at a faction of the price. This Limousine is elegance personified. Doesn’t look like it needs much fettling to sort out. Will go anywhere; the original SUV and Great for towing your Toyota Landcruiser out of the mud. The engine is masterpiece; a hemi without the bother of twin cams. Plus it has a 7 star Ancap rating although the handbook recommends you wipe the Toyota Vitz’s off the front bumper from time to time.
For: the chrome is so thick on the front grill that if the steel behind rusts out it doesn't matter.
Against: In weekends you can crush modern cars for extra cash. If Rommel had these instead of Panzers the Germans would have won the war.
Bottom Dweller Status: 5 /5 might be worth hanging out for an immaculate concours example for $1937
1987 Jaguar XJ40
Nearly into the Ford era when things really improved, these jags are never the less post British Leyland as such aren’t totally hopeless. With a new engine and flatter mundane styling these cars are a better bet than the earlier curvy XJ6s. So hopefully, no where near as problematic. Auto is a GM unit. So could have all the benefits of the early XJs; Gorgeous ride and handling, superb dynamics, outstanding performance etc.
For: truly gorgeous interiors, superb dynamics, reliable as hell.
Against: Yeah right! Made by people who had bizarre sexual fantasies about Margaret Thatcher being their mother! And it shows!
Bottom –dweller Status 6 /5 Cheap as chips, but are they really just garden sculptures like most other XJs. At least it doesn’t cost much to find out?
How did the worst handling car maker come up with the tightest best handling car of the decade? It brought Lotus of course! Gave them cart blanche to create the perfect little sports car. To Toyotas credit Lotus where given a free hand as long as they used the beautiful twin cam 1600 4AGE motor. (Life is so hard eh?) Any way the results where astounding, finally a Toyota that handled or a Lotus that was reliable. Either way it brought mid engine handling to the masses.
From the same collaboration came a Lotus Eclat styling for the Celica. No where near the technically advanced car the MR2 was , but never the less a Lotus styled car for ‘next to nicks’. Probably one of the best mid-sized cheap GTs of the eighties. Underneath was standard Toyota fare, various motors from 1800 to a 2-litre ‘6’, ’tied down’ chassis that handled moderately well (Ok, it was damn right hairy! But the car at least remained flat) The digital speedos where something to behold!
However the best was yet to come! Mazda never bothered to buy Lotus for its tribute car, it didn’t stop it copying Lotus’s glorious early Elan wholesale. Well why not there were hardly any made any way and they cost the earth and spent most of the time in the garage. Mazda finally succeeded in bringing open-top sportscar motoring to the masses. And what a great car double wish bone suspension on every corner, so even and after years and years these cars still handled well.
Even America got in on the Mid-engined craze ,with this gorgeous looking coupe. With a 2.5 little four cylinder engine it was more a novelty for American buyers despite it’s super car looks. The engine was a slug that wouldn’t rev and the front suspension was borrowed from the chevette (same as ours) the rear was from the citation (like the engine) in fact they used the whole front wheel drive unit by merely attached the steering ball joints to the chassis . (to make it mid-engined) Despite initially out selling the MR2 it was nowhere as good a car and was canned by the late 1980s
See what I mean! In parts! This has nothing to with Lotus. Alfas always handled well and had beautiful engines. For some reason these gorgeous coupes never reach the prices of Alfa suds. I’ve never been able to face an Alfasud because they look like Allegros , I know its weird and irrational but…they are tainted . The Sprints however look great with that great little flat floor motor. Now if I could just get it back together!
This week we celebrate Dion of the cla$$ic car world Yalopy magazine (1990-1994) (or thereabouts) We never got it here. The classic car establishment would never allow it. But through clandestine relationships I cannot even now mention, copies where smuggled into New Zealand to be pored over.
Next weeks wonders
Do you ever those dreams where you turn up somewhere no wearing your pants? Hmm well this sort of reminds me that. This gorgeous British racing Green Morgan is once again for sale on trademe , apparently because of a timewaster!???! Quite honestly I’m at a loss to see why people wouldn’t pay for this car, I’m mean it’s a concept car isn’t it? I mean you’ve got to be philosophical about these things. After all what is the definition of ‘car’, what does it have to have, is it substance or is the thought more important, after all life is just an illusion why not so then - the car?
Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ll never afford one anyway (or any other new car for that matter). I love Porsches, they are superb small sports cars. But really Porsche died somewhere in the 1970s. By the 80s it was all over.
I blame marketing. There is a philosophy in marketing that once a brand is established you can extend it into other products, so the original qualities are transferred through ‘brand’ onto other products the company makes. So when I buy a Porsche Cayenne, I’m really buying a svelte little sportscar .
Porsches modern interpretation of the Speedster: Fat, bloated, ungainly. None of the elegance of a real Porsche. Performance and handling aplenty but hardly a ‘keeper’ or inspiring of ownership. Flash shape but not a pretty one. Prices have halved in the last 2years (they used to be $30k now $15k) but still $10k overpriced.
Yet another attempt to make a cheap sportscar, as 911s grew too expensive. Hence Audi 2-litre motor. (but a rear transaxle gearbox) Still for all that they are relatively small compared with later attempts. A fine design if not exceedingly beautiful or endearing. The magic had probably gone by then but it would have been a great idea under another brand.
From the same seller as above, these used to be common as muck, but now alas our roads are bereft. Unusual in that its not an east /west engine yet is front wheel drive.. The car is almost mid-engined, as the motor is under the dash driving forward to the front wheels. Most unusual in an age of Fwd east/west cars. All the better for it though with fine handling and French flair!
Beautiful aerodyne French saloon, Way ahead of nearly every other mass produced car of the time (except Citroen perhaps but a generations ahead in looks). Almost as beautiful as a Bristol 403 Coupe. Long running mechanicals and a robustness which was legendary. Quality feel that reassures you of your superb taste in cars.
This gorgeous little gem has been on trademe forever and a day. It would have been long gone had it not been overseas (North Is) (mainly brought by me) In the mid 1960s there wasn’t much compact, rear-wheel-drive and good looking (apart from from BMW 1600s) and these gorgeous Simcas. Surprisingly few in NZ considering the popularity of the Aronde, these cars where however a whole lot better than anything the brits had to offer. To think that Chrysler let the Hunter be developed when they could have had this is ludicrous. Sweet styling, nicely appointed with an advanced motor for the time. These little Simcas behaved themselves, handled (thanks to rack and pinion steering) and went well.
Peugeot 505
Now we’re talking, Just look at this gorgeous little coupe from Renault. One of the products of Kiwis love affair with French cars which later led to Fuegos being here in large numbers. The 15Ts and 17Tls are exquisite little coupes with a great deal of character. Magnificent straight line performance. Behaves like a mini Ferrari and will hunker down and do 100mph plus all day. Superb handling despite body roll. Impossible to lose on a dirt road as they have beautiful throttle controlled oversteer.
Sad cars in the eighties, Princesses are never the less redeeming themselves in the 21st century. Futuristic shape has almost become timeless, and interior appointments the certainly the happiest of BL cars. In fact these Princesses came close to Wolseley standards. Surprisingly engines seem to last, however gearboxes equipped with a wand (with a bit of magic you might find a gear) great ride heaps of room and road manners the japs could only dream about.
A relation of the Wolseley twins from last month. Perfect for the man or woman who wants a superb chassis , a bit more power but wouldn’t be seen dead in a Morris Minor. Bizarre thinking from Leyland Australia, Still people brought them (lets face it, they handled a lot better than a Holden) Works better without the fins and with the Wolseley or Riley grill. Well worth the effort of a visit to the Hinds Classic Car Collectables Shop. This place is classic car heaven. Even down to new MGB and BMC panels, plus the cars are great. Heaven!
